Thankfulness!!!

Thankfulness is the emotion I have had through this whole journey I have been on. In October when I went to the doctors, she said to me I don't think this lump is anything to worry about but I want to sent you to the breast clinic to make sure. I am thankful my doctor did the right thing that day. On the day the doctor tells Martin and I that I have cancer, I was thankful that I had my husband with me and I knew he would help me along the way. Dont get me wrong, Martin and I didnt know what to say to each other except I love you. We got back into the car and just cried together, but again I was thankful that I had Martin.

The Sunday after we found out we went to church and prayed with our pastor. I am so thankful that we have a wonderful church that has supported and prayed for us along the way.

Then a week later my Mom and sister was coming to visit us. We had been planning this visit for a long time, I was so thankful they were coming talk about good timing. We were taking my boy Charlie to the Happiest Place on Earth (Disneyland Paris) for his 4th birthday. We all had a great time and tried to forget about the news we had gotten.

My Dr had ordered every test under the sun to make sure this silly cancer had not spread any where else. So I had a MRI of my breast, a CT scan, and a bone scan, then we got wonderful news it had not spread any where else. I was so thankful!!!!

One of the hardest thing  was telling people that I had cancer. But how in the world was I going to tell my 4 year old son that his mom has cancer. I prayed and prayed about this, then it came to me that I didnt ever have to use the word cancer. I just told Charlie I had a poorly boob and the dr had to take it off. He then says to me "Oh mom it will be okay I will just take care of you again." He as keep to his word he has so taken care of me. I am so thankful for him.

In November I had a mas to take the cancer away. I was thankful I only had to spend one night in the hospital, and come home to my boys. Six weeks later I was going to start chemo if I healed quickly. I again was thakful that I started chemo on December 20th.
About four hours after I finished my first chemo I started to throw up and then this stopped 3 days later. And boy was I thankful that my sickness has stopped. But the day after I had my first chemo some of my friends came by and just sat with me. I was so thankful and will always be thankful for these girls.

On December 30th I started to not feel so well, so I thought I will just lay down for bit. Then I start to feel really cold and thought I should take my temperature. And well of course I had a fever so off to  A &E we go. They run a few tests on me and it comes back that my cell count was .01 which was nothing, honestly nothing at all. They spend the next few hours given me IV antibotics to boost my cell count and the next day I went home. I was so thankful to go home. Martin and I then think this will be our new normal. But I have been so thankful that has never happened again.

The next 5 sessions of chemo where rough but hey they are behind me now. I am thankful that on my bad days, Charlie had a Dad who would take him out. Martin would take him swimming, or some of my favorites were when they would make me a cake. Those boys know how to make good cake. I am thankful for all of the girls that I work with. I live across the street from the school I work at. My friend Roxy comes to visit me everyday on her lunch break. I am so thankful for her. Somedays are long and boring but then I look at the clock and relize it is about lunch time someone will be here to visit me soon. The girls I work with are amazing and wonderful. At Christmas time last year they decided to help us out and give us money for presents and gave us some gift cards to keep us going. Do you see why I have been so thankful?? I have story after story of thankfulness. Do you want another one? One day Martin said to me we have no more money left for groceries this week. I said oh my how in the world are we going to get through this. I said a little prayer then a friend from work handed me a christmas card with money in it. Thankfulness, she didnt know how bad we needed that money. Well I could go on and on. Just know I will be forever thankful for every one of you girls at work, and all you have done for me and my family.

I have been so thankful for the team of doctors and nurses that have been taking really good care of me. I have had six sessions of chemo and they were not fun but I am now thankful they are over. I have just finished 15 sessions of radioation as well. Yesterday was my last day of active treatment!!! It is finished! I dont see my dr again until July 11th. I dont know if they will run tests or what is next to come. But I do know it is all gone and active treatment is finished.

I am so thankful that this day has come. Yesterday when I was getting my last treatment one of the nurses asked me what are you going to do tonight to celebrate? I said I am going to take my boy to swimming I am going to do normal mom things. I just want to be a normal mom again. I dont want to have appointments at the hospial, I want to be able to take my boy to the park and teach him to ride his bike and play football (soccer) with my boy. Charlie has really kept me going. God really spoke to me early on  and said do not worry I will carry you and your family through this. And boy has He carried us.

I dont want anyone to think this has been a walk in the park, because it has not. But it is over and I can be thankful for that. I want to thank every single person that has prayed for me over the past few months. I have felt them and without them I dont think this story will be the same. Thank you thank you and more thank you. I guess I can not end this with out the bigget thank you to Jesus, with out Him all of this would not have been possible so thank you Jesus.

Well January is going by winter is really here in Folkestone. This past week it has been snowing we have been having so much fun in the snow. Charlie, Martin and I have had a few snow ball fights.

I have now had 2 chemo sessions and I am doing well. The first session was a bit rough but we got through it. The second session was a lot less, well they did lower the dose by 20 percent to lower all of the side effects. I am just so thankful that I am feeling so well. The side effects only seem to last about a week then I am back to normal. Charlie thinks it is very funny that I now have no hair, it all helps to keep things very fun and light hearted. My hair started falling out a few weeks ago now. For a few days it was falling and it was very messy there was hair everywhere. So we decided the best thing to do was just to be bold and shave it all off. So Martin and Charlie shaved my head. 


This is the before the first hair cut. I have donated my hair to an organisation who make wigs for children who have caner.

 Charlie and I getting ready for it to come off!!

 Off it comes! Martin did a wonderful job. He was so careful.

 Its all gone and some how I am still smiling!

Charlie is doing so well he is really growing up. He has started swim lessons. The first week did not go so well, for some reason he did not want to get into the pool. But since then he has been the first one in the pool. Charlie also has really been into dress up lately, if he is not wearing his Peter Pan costume he is dressed up as Spiderman. He has a wonderful imagination.

Christmas 2012

We had a wonderful Christmas this year! Charlie really must have made the nice list. He is a wonderful boy, we are so thankful for him. We had a wonderful morning of opening presents and playing with all of the new toys. We went to Martins parents for a great Christmas lunch. Pops made a wonderful dinner he was cooking for days before that. It was a wonderful day. I was very thankful I felt as good as I did.

 

 

Look at all those presents!!  

 

 

 

One happy boy with his new castle. 

  

Thanks for lunch Pops!!!

 

 

 

In Folkestone on Boxing Day there are some cazy people who do this Boxing Day Dip they go into the very cold English Channel. I was smart and stayed home in the warm, but Martin took Charlie down to the beach to have a look.  

 

Run Charlie Run!! 

 

For Christmas Charlie got very lucky and got a new bike.  

 

Riding his new bike is so tiring.  

 

Charlie and his favorite girl Megan, She does have a great name and all.  Megan is our neighbor she is just a few months older then Charlie. They are great friends and have been since they were babies.  

Hello to our wonderful family and fantastic friends, I thought I would just update you all on Meagan after her first session of Chemotherapy on Friday,  The first 24 hours were tough on Meagan, Neusea and vomitting were constaint thought the evening and night, I got up every time Meagan need me to hold her bowl.  Someone has to do it.  Since Saturday evening the Vomitting has since stopped but neusea is still around and she is now feeling lethargic.  All though these days since Chemotherapy session Meagan has been fantastic staying strong!

Just a little update!

Hello I dont really want this blog to become all about my journey with breast cancer, but this is my life right now. I had my operation in November to remove my right breast and take a biopsy of my nodes. That all went great, as good as we were hoping for. I have been doing lots of R's resting, relaxing and reading this past few weeks. |Thank mom for my new Kindle it is really going to help!

Well the journey continues tomorrow. I will start 6 rounds of chemo tomorrow meaning the 21st of December. I will have chemo for the next 20 weeks I will have a session every three weeks. Then after that I will have 3 straight weeks of radiation where I will have to go to the hospital everyday for 3 weeks.
I am ready for this fight I know I am about to start the fight of my life tomorrow. Today I went and got my long hair cut off. My hair had gotten really long again. There have been a very times in my like when I just cut it all off and then just let it grow back. I always have donated to a charity that makes wig for children that have cancer. I thought, if I can make this situation a bit easier for a child by giving her my hair then I wanted to do that. It was really fun going to the salon this morning and saying just cut it all off. My good friend Chrissie went with me and we had some good laughs this morning.  I know I will have some really hard days but I know I will have some really good days. I have 3 wonderful boys in my life, Jesus, Martin (my husband), and my great son Charlie! These boys give my strength  and they make me laugh everyday.

If you are thinking how can I help them? Or if you are thinking I want to do something for them. Well I would say pray for us and then pray for us again. My biggest pray is that Charlie is not effected by all of this. I know God is going to take care of me and well I know God is taking care of my charlie as well. I am so very thankful that Martins work has said to him to take off all of the time you need to care for your wife, and they are still going to pay him.

Charlie is doing wonderful by the way. We just went to watch him at school for his Christmas concert it was great, he sang his little heart out. He is loving the color orange right now honestly everything has to be orange. He has asked Santa for an orange bike for Christmas well dont tell him but we got the bike before the orange phase and his bike is silver hope he likes it. I am sure he will. He is learning so much lately, his abilty to write letters and number is coming on well. I am so proud of him. I tell him you are going to be smart like your Aunt Tracey (my sister). Charlie continues to love love to dance and sing everyday. The other day I came home and found him in his room with the music going so loud and he was dancing and singing all around his room.

I will do my best to keep this blog update in the next few months as much as I can. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas. We have been so so so blessed this year with gifts for Charlie. People from near and far are helping us make this Christmas very special for our little boy and we are so thankful.
Lots of love to everyone,
Meagan

God has a plan!

The past few months have been good. Charlie has grown and grown and then wait he grew some more. He is getting so tall now. He has so many interests these days. We watched the movie Hook a few months ago and now all the thinks about is Peter Pan, Captain Hook or dreaming of going to Neverland!  Charlie is the love of my life, he is my whole world. I feel so lucky that I can call him my son.  I cherish all of the time I get to spend with him and love watching him grow, now more then ever.

As many of you can remember I had an ectopic pregnancy in July, I learned  to cherish what I had then. Now I am going to cherish even more of what I have. Here is honestly the short story, I have found out recently I have breast cancer. About 7 weeks ago I found a lump on my right breast. I think that is the moment I just knew all was about to change. Skip a few weeks and I had a biopsy and it come back that is is cancer. I have had many different tests and scans to make sure that it has not spread. The good news came in that it is just local to the breast. The lump is so big they can not save the boob so I am going to have surgery on November 8th that is next Thursday to remove it all. I should have a short stay in the hospital if everything goes as planned. I know  you are all thinking will you have to have chemo?? And the answer is yes. I will start chemo is about 6-8 weeks post op. I have to wait for my body to heal and then they will attack it all again.

I know that I am in for the fight of my life. But God has carried me through many different parts of my life I and have faith that He is going to carry me through all of this. Charlie and Martin are my strength those boys make me laugh and smile everyday. Charlie has turn 4 and is turning out to be a very bright caring boy. If you are think what can I do for her and the family I honestly just ask you to pray for us. It will be a hard time for everyone for different reason. Charlie does not know yet we are going to tell him a few days before the operation so pray that conversation goes well. Charlie is a caring boy and when I was recovering in July from the ectopic he cared for me and I know he will help out however he can. Martin will have to take some time off work please pray that his work is okay with the time he will need to take off. And me the mom of the family please pray that I have peace with everything, and for a fast recovery without infection so I can start chemo sooner then later.

How can you not smile when you look at this??

For about 10 months now we have been planning for my mom and sister to come for Charlies Birthday. We took Charlie to Disneyland Paris for his birthday. It was a great place to go and get away from all of the things that were going on at home with tests and scans. We went to Paris for 3 days. We went to the park for one day and it was just perfect! We rode all of the rides and did most of the things we wanted to do. The park was not busy at all. Here is a good tip go to Disneyland in October it is not bust at all. We then went into the city for the day  to go to  the Eiffel tower. You think oh that sounds amazing and it was but it was raining the whole time we were at the tower. I honestly mean raining so hard, we all got so wet. It looked like we had taken a shower with our clothes on by the time we were done.

Some were not as happy as others! Love you my sister!

The whole family before the rain came! See the smiles.

 We love Mickey! It was so special they all sang Happy Birthday to Charlie when we were meeting Mickey.

Charlie and I enjoying our day at Disney.

                                           Martin and Charlie on the train back to England!

Do you see now how this wonderful boy is going to keep me going? His smile is really the best.

One of the hardest weeks of my life.

                                               One of the hardest weeks of my life.
I honestly never thought this was going to be my story. Martin and I thought we would like to give Charlie a sibling, we think its the best gift we could ever give him. And let me tell you its really fun progress. On July 7th we took a test and found out I was pregnant!!! We were so excited it was something we wanted for a long time. We wanted to keep this our little secret for a long as we could but on Thursday July 12th I had a bad bleed when I was at work!! Then the secret was out.  I felt fine but I was bleeding. Martin came and got me and we went to the walk in center and then we were sent to A&E just to make sure I was OK. The Dr there book me in for a early scan on Tuesday morning.

 So now all we could do was wait for Tuesday and pray that this baby was okay. Tuesday morning comes and we go in the the scan and they could not find a baby, but they knew there was something there on the left side. They said it was either a cyst or ectopic pregnancy. They send me for a blood test to see what is going on and to see what my hormone level was. They told us to go but don't go to far and just wait for a call. Martin took me out for lunch at Pizza Express which is one of my favorite places to eat. We then go out for coffee with my good friend Rachel while we are all just waiting for the call.

 I get the call and they say I need to come back and I am going to have an operation. My levels were 15,000 and the Dr said that was very high. Then I go back they book me in and then I have to wait until 7pm for the operation because I had lunch. My Dr was so good and explained it all to me what was going on and what was going to happen. He thought the pregnancy was on the left side. He tells me that he is going to take my left fallopian tube and sometimes they have to take the right side as well. I just say well thank goodness we have Charlie the best child a girl could ask for. They take me down and say to Martin don't worry we will have her back to you in a few hours. Five hours later I am out of surgery and in recovery.
During the surgery they could not find the pregnancy in either of the tubes the Dr told me they looked and looked and then they found it. That silly egg got so lost it did not go up my tubes like it is supposed it. It went behind my cervix and attached itself to my bowels well that is the nice way to put it. That is when they called in a bowel surgeon to help. Thankfully they were able to take the egg out without too much damage to my bowel. I lost a liter of blood during the operation but I was doing ok. The good thing is it all they did not have to take any of my tubes! The dr even said they are in great condition.
I am so thankful Martin was able to spend everyday in the hospital with me. He would leave at night but he was by my side as much as he could be. I had a few days when I did not feel very good. I don't know if was the pain that was making me sick or was it all the pain meds I was taking. Martin really gets the husband of the year award. He got all the good jobs like holding my puke bowl and wiping my face. Martin really is the best husband I could have ever asked for, thank you God for giving him to me. On Friday my Dr says to me go home we don't want you here anymore!! Ok that might sound bad but he was the best Dr he had the best bedside manner. He made me laugh, understood when I cried. Leaving he said to Martin and I it was nice to meet you and I hope to see you both on the labor ward in a year. It was the nicest thing to hear. He gave me hope that everything is going to be ok.
I am doing well. Its been over a week now and I get better everyday. I am so thankful for all my friends and family that have called or have come seen me. My friends have come and brought me flowers and some of my favorite chocolates. Its nice to know that even my friends and family in the States have kept me in their prayers. Just knowing that everyone was praying and thinking of me was encouraging. Charlie has been a great little helper, he brings me the things I need and he has helped me around the house.
I know that Gods hand has been on me through this entire situation. I am faithful he has a plan for my life, its hard to go through things like this. But God has a plan for me and my family. I have and will have days when I dont know why this has happened but those are the days when you just can not ask why? Because I will never know. I can only live in the hope that this story will end happy. But I am happy because I have Martin and Charlie in my life. Charlie is the happiest and greatest boy. It is so fun and amazing to watch him grow and learn.
Thank you for reading and all the support that you have given to my family.